Microtech knives are hideously expensive, not easy to find, probably illegal for you to own or carry, but avidly collected by macho men everywhere with a weakness for “tactical” gear.

When I saw this video featuring a giant, oversized version of the classic (if the word “classic” can possibly be applied in this particular context) Microtech Halo, I assumed all this hyperbolic rhetoric was pure satire, but, no, examples of this oversized version (which must be so illegal as to carry multiple sentences for possession) are actually on-sale*.

• for a mere $8999 shipped!

Hat tip to Vanderleun (who shares my own interests and perspective so perectly that I think he must be my evil twin).

Confession: I used to own one Microtech (not a front-opening Halo), but it was too valuable to use, and I concluded it was too heavy to carry, so I sold it.

Ha! Those of us living outside the megalopolis should be so lucky. We get our less-than-high-speed Internet rationed out to us in a spoon by satellite modem services and we lose connectivity anytime there is heavy fog or strong precipitation. The video is amusing but naive. It fails to mention that these Oligopolicies are all created by successful arrangements with government.

Hat tip to Vanderleun.

Hat tip to Henry Bernatonis.

When the Mayor of New York provokes ridicule for his authoritarian overreach from representatives of the Confucian culture of Taiwan, it is clear that he has gone way too far. Happily, a New York State Supreme Court Judge agreed with the Taiwanese perspective yesterday, and blocked enforcement of Mayor Bloomberg’s soft drink edict.

Via Bookworm. Hat tip to Karen L. Myers.

Hat tip to Vanderleun.

Jim Geraughty, in his morning email, the Morning Jolt, collected tweeted reactions to the carnage.

Under Sequester, the Morning Jolt Will Be 2 Percent Shorter Than Before

Shortly after midnight, this is what happened, according to Twitter:

Stephen Gutowski: “Just tried driving but since sequestration went into effect the roads have all crumbled into dust.”

Brendan Loy: “OH MY GOD THERE ARE GOVERNMENT WORKERS SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTING ALL OVER THE PLACE, THIS IS HORRIBLE, PLEASE MAKE IT STOP” ...

Jonah: “It wasn’t until I ate my neighbor’s pancreas that I realized president Obama was right about the sequester.”

Iowahawk: “The corpses are piling up outside my window like cordwood, oh my God the humanity.”

Sebastian: “Nothing to worry about! I grabbed my double barrel shotgun & blasted #sequester through the door, just like the VP said.”

Ari Fleischer: “President Obama is right. Undo the sequester! I can’t stand it already.”

Becket Adams: “I don’t think my neighbors are taking sequestration seriously. They’re giving me weird looks and making fun of my war paint and loincloth.”

Exurban Jon: “So this is what anarchy feels like . . . From now on, I shall be known as ;ExJon, Warlord of the Western Deserts.’”

Buck Sexton: “Did America lose 170,000,000 jobs in the last 10 minutes? Keep me informed, everyone.”

Brandon Morse: “The #sequester may now join the Mayan Calendar and the Y2K bug in the “[Stuff] Everyone Survived” Hall of Fame.”

By morning, it was even worse:

Rick Wilson: “A few hours of fitful sleep, the sound of sirens and screams of the victims of the Barackolypse rending the night air . . . I saw their fires in the dark, savagery swiftly tearing away the thin veneer of civilization only government diversity programs provided.”

John Podhoretz: “Just looked out the window. Five hedge fund guys fighting over a piece of raw meat.”

A rather effective Lutheran satire of soi disant Catholics who feel no obligation to accept the teachings of the Church. This phenomenon, though, is far from limited to young, blonde and female members of the uneducated public. Professional public intellectuals like Gary Wills and Andrew Sullivan notoriously combine self-identification as members of the Church of Rome with a penchant for demanding that the Magisteria renounce its pretensions to divine inspiration and immediately conform itself to the consensus of the left-wing community of fashion, which alone, as we all know, is infallible on matters of faith and morals.

Hat tip to Sarah Jenislawski.

Hat tip to Vanderleun.

Borowitz Report:

Citing budgetary concerns, the United States announced today that it would discontinue regular Saturday drone strikes on U.S. citizens, beginning in 2014.

In announcing the decision, the White House spokesman Jay Carney acknowledged that the cutback in drone service was “bound to be controversial.” “In the United States, we’ve always prided ourselves on our ability to target our citizens with drone strikes, Monday through Saturday, regardless of the weather,” he said. “We know that losing Saturday drone service is going to take some getting used to.”