Someone somewhere is a practicing Baptist and someone somewhere else is eating a hamburger larger than youâ€™d prefer, and other people are watching cars go around a track at high speed. As your skinny unhappy friend said the other night: people are just too fat and happy. He bites his nails and plays WoW six hours a night, but he has a point. It doesnâ€™t matter that these fascists-in-fetal-form never quite seem to accomplish anything; itâ€™s not like they drove the gay Teletubbies off the air or had Tony Kushner drawn and quartered in the public square. But theyâ€™re preventing something. Something wonderful. And theyâ€™re driving large cars to Wal-Mart and putting 18-roll packs of Charmin in the back and they have three kids. Earth has withstood a lot in its four billion years, but it cannot withstand them. And even if it does, who wants to live in a world where these people donâ€™t care that theyâ€™re being mocked by small, underfunded theaters in honest, gritty neighborhoods? (Which are being gentrified by upwardly-mobile poseurs who have decided itâ€™s a great place to live because the theater is good and the restaurants are cheap. F*#*$ing interlopers. But weâ€™ll deal with them later.)
ANYWAY. Bottom line: we will never be a great nation until we all realize how much we suck, and then we will also realize it is wrong to be a great nation. For that matter, nationhood are overrated. (The only nation that gets to be a nation is France.)
Nations are bad enough, but weâ€™re something else:the only nation that has ever fought a war, acted in self-interest, had a good opinion of itself, permitted slavery, elected leaders who lacked a certain Olympian quality, had a popular culture that included simple catchy melodies and bright pictures, harbored racist attitudes, had a strong religious element, and contained a sizable amount of stupid people.
(Side note: the existence of stupid people in America is a touchy subject, and not easily explained away. It would seem to suggest that some people are smarter than other people, which could conceivably have an impact on their ability to succeed â€“ but there are so many stupid people living in comfort that this almost implies that the bounty and opportunity of the country are sufficient to lift the leakiest dinghies if the occupants bail and plug, and that canâ€™t be true. It is also unacceptable to suggest that some people do not succeed because they arenâ€™t smart, since that suggests that merit is rewarded, and that canâ€™t be true. Merit has nothing to do with America; itâ€™s all about white male privilege. Do not be fooled by the rise of Hillary and Obama; put them together, and what do you have? White. Male.)
Anyway, America sucks except for a few parts of some cities if you ignore the Starbucks, and people in other countries are basically okay but no one in America knows it because they donâ€™t have passports, and Dubya wants you to hate Islam which is ridiculous because I was backpacking in Tunisia for a few days and people seemed pretty cool. Hey, look at this, someone posted a video on YouTube that makes it seem like Huckabee is supported by the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Whatâ€™s for supper? Thai? Again?
07 Feb 2008