See? I even found a flattering photo (you can hardly even see the groundhog on top).
I thought Donald Trump was a disgraceful candidate for the presidency, unqualified with respect to experience, character, and intelligence. I obviously had no intention of ever supporting, or voting for, Hillary, but I was inclined to believe that both of these unfortunate candidates were destined to be failures in office and the winner, whichever won, would bring disrepute on his or her respective party, and deliver a “one free presidency” ticket to the opposition.
The sober and mature side of my brain concluded that we’d be better off taking our medicine now, losing to Hillary this time, and coming back with a qualified, legitimate candidate next go round. Obviously, things did not work out that way.
I will reluctantly admit that, election night, sitting there, watching Fox News, alcoholic beverage in hand, the irresponsible side of my brain began taking over, and I found myself turning into Mr. Hyde. The worse version of me was in my heart of hearts hankering for Trump to win. Schadenfreude is so much fun. And the prospect of a Trump presidency would simply be so much more fun and entertaining than looking forward to four years of Hillary, a female US president played by some unlucky children’s high school principal. The very thought of seeing Hillary on TV for four years is enough to make any right-thinking American start itching to jump on that raft and head down the Mississippi, hoping to escape to the territories.
I then sat around for roughly 24 hours feeling guilty and ashamed of myself. I kept seeing, in my mind’s eye, General Washington, in Valhalla, cursing Trump and Trump’s supporters (and me), as he did General Charles Lee at Monmouth, “until the leaves shook on the trees.”
But Trump has been behaving decently. He won fair and square, according to the system. And, though I have every confidence that he didn’t write his proposed agenda himself, a lot of the Trump’s proposed first steps are absolutely wonderful. If Trump repeals Obamacare, and wipes out Caliban’s legacy, I will be tickled pink. If Trump abolishes, or at least neuters, the EPA, I promise to drink his health. If he really reduces taxes and regulations in the way he’s talking about, hell, I might vote for him for a second term.
I’ll grant my Trumpkin opponents this one: in his capacity as disgrace, Donald Trump really and truly got himself elected as a revolutionary Agent of Change. A real legitimate conservative would very likely have felt himself inhibited by mere propriety from undertaking really extreme changes, like actually abolishing major federal agencies & departments. Trump has no obligation to be respectable, because he never was respectable. Trump can break all the crockery, throw all the bombs he feels like. The crazed insurrectionary Trumpkins will support him, the scheming Republican insiders will support him, and, yes, Virginia! #NeverTrump conservatives like me are going to give Trump the honeymoon he is entitled to. I’ll support him and defend him against the Left on every conservative thing he does, and I’ll even refrain from delivering more than mild dissents in the areas where I most disagree with the Trump platform, for a while, until at least, he does something really horrible. Fair is fair. He has got a mandate, at least up to a point.