Curtis Yarvin (aka Mencius Moldbug) is brilliant, but, alas! ungodly prolix, addicted to digressions, and someone who does not self-edit. His latest Substack special combines his characteristic witty insight with all of the above mentioned flaws.

This one may be partially pay-walled, but in this case that could be a feature rather than a bug.

The customary color-coding of the culture war is boring. Let’s get Tolkien-pilled and talk not about red and blue, but hobbits and elves. …

We know who are the hobbits and who are the elves. We know who is on top and who is on the bottom. (Of dwarves and orcs, we shall not speak.) We know what the elves want: they want to live beautiful lives. We know what the hobbits want: they want to grill and raise kids.

Dear hobbits: you can only lose the culture war. Even when elves use political power to impose elf culture on you, you cannot use political power to impose hobbit culture on elves.

I mean, sometimes (rarely) you can. It never works out well. I suppose that in theory you could massacre all the elves. You don’t seem up for that in practice. As an elf… I have to regard that as a good thing. But it leaves you, dear hobbits, in a real bind.

If there was a way to impose hobbit culture only on hobbits, there might be a case. But our country is not configured to support separate rules for elves and hobbits. If it was, it would be a different country. Maybe a better country—but it isn’t.

The only way to impose hobbit culture is to impose it on everyone—including elves. Elves do not like to be told what to do by hobbits. Even advice makes elves mad. It is outrageous and disrespectful. And when hobbits coerce elves… utterly unacceptable. Even if any such coercion is only symbolic, it is a profound violation of elven rights. Your elf will not just be mad—he will explode—wronged in every fiber of his being. …

For the overdog, it is often useful, tactically and/or strategically, useful to make the underdog mad. For the underdog, it is almost never useful to make the overdog mad.

To hobbits, this tactic of provoking the elves seems effective because they learned it from their own enemy—for whom it is effective. Of course the natural instinct of the underdog is to copy the overdog. There are many tactics that are good for goose or gander. But there is no symmetry. Alas, many moves are made only for the goose.

For the overdog, making the underdog mad is an excellent tactic—it is a way to induce “fear biting,” a violent response to nonviolent abuse. Observed casually, this creates a superficial narrative in which the underdog looks like the instigator. Self-flattering narratives are often built out of casual self-observation. You actually believe your own victim narrative, even when you bullied the underdog into a corner; he desperately nipped at you; then you methodically tore his throat out. In fact, you’d like to file a police report… you may be suing his estate… you’re not usually one to litigate, but…

For the underdog, making the overdog mad makes the overdog more powerful and dangerous to you, the underdog. You do not want your overdog to become more powerful and dangerous. You want him to become more apathetic and unguarded. …

Hobbits do not need to be in charge. Hobbits do not want to rule the world, should not want to rule the world, and could not rule the world. Hobbits do not even need to be governed by hobbits—they just need to be governed as hobbits. Governing them as elves, though, generates significant irritation and is best regarded as hobbit abuse.

Even by taking absolute power, the hobbits cannot win—they would soon lose it. To win, hobbits have to do something harder than taking absolute power. They do need to take absolute power; but then, they need to give absolute power.

The hobbits can only win by taking power from one group of elves, then giving it to another group of elves. Let’s call these groups the high elves and the dark elves. These dark elves are the allies hobbits need to get the quality of government they deserve.

Hobbits will always be governed by elves. But they need to be governed by elves who respect hobbits (as well as elves, dwarves and orcs). Otherwise, the Valar are offended. The Valar do not approve of hobbit abuse. It’s really not good to offend the Valar.

Therefore, the best strategy for hobbits to get good government is to split the elves—to capture absolute power over the state, then give it away, delegating it to a new regime designed to govern all the hominids of Middle-Earth fairly and faithfully. The set of elves who support any pro-hobbit regime, before or after its birth, are the dark elves.

Like any conceivable regime, the new regime will be largely staffed with elves; by definition, these elves will be dark elves. (One reason to anonymously shitpost today, keeping one’s credentials the darkest of secrets, is that the same credentials which can hang you today can also prove to a future regime when you came to your senses. Earlier, obviously, is better.)

It is normal and fine for hobbits to be ruled by elves. What is not normal or fine is for hobbits to be misruled by elves. Whatever causes this epidemic of misrule, it is not a hobbit problem. It is an elf problem. Ergo, hobbits must work with elves to solve it. Together, we can forge a new constitutional thinking.

RTWT

I think his basic insight definitely has something in it, but I fear those hobbits are going to have a long we before we dark elves succeed in subverting or overthrowing the tyranny of those stupid Community of Fashion elves.

I read recently that Curtis has taken up with a female BDSM writer. All I can say is: “Strike, dear mistress, and cure his prose!“