06 Nov 2005

France Surrenders after 7 Days of Rioting

(Apache Press International)

November 2, 2005 Paris – – French Interior Minister Nicolas Sarkozy today accepted terms of surrender from Mohammad Al Jabooti, the leader of a pack of Muslim rioters after just seven days of civil unrest north of that nation’s capitol. Following a brief signing ceremony at the Palais de Justice, the French Republic surrendered to the suburb of Chichy-sous-Bois.

“The terms offered by our Muslim overlords in exchange for our immediate capitulation was most generous” said Minister Nicolas Sarkozy. “We are grateful we have been allowed to live.” “…and what greater gift is there than life itself?”

The terms that the French Republic agreed to was the immediate conversion of all 22,000 Catholic churches into Mosques and the summary beheading of the approximately 30,000 remaining priests and 60,000 Jews in that country.

“It is important for us to understand and respect their culture” said Laurent Fabius, a former Socialist prime minister. “There is no higher sign of disrespect in Islam than the practicing of another religion and we now need to recognize that fact”. “For us to choose any other path than submission would only make us responsible for prolonging the violence and betray the French people’s rich history of capitulation.” When asked about the inherent violence associated with the planned ritualistic slaughter of almost 100,000 of the former-republic’s citizens, Fabius bristled that any condemnation of that policy is in itself as a sign of racist thinking and grotesquely insensitive to the needs of the Muslim community.

“That is the problem with you Americans!” “You always want to play the cowboy and you never consider the subtle nuances of surrender. This is something we know well and that emotion beats in the chest of every real Frenchman. Surrender is as instinctive to us as breathing.”

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