Joel Engle on What’s the Rumpus excoriates the California-King-sized sense of entitlement of the planning-to-have-it-all “professional couple” who placed the following ad:

“IF THERE’S ever a Museum of Chutzpah, this recent classified ad in a community newspaper will be the featured exhibit:

‘NANNY — FULL-TIME — MONDAY-FRIDAY: Professional couple seeks responsible, happy, engaging nanny for 3-month-old infant. 7:30 AM-6 PM M-F; $300-350/week; breakfast, lunch provided. Would consider splitting into 2 positions (morning, afternoon). Interact/play with baby, daily stroller rides, no TV; housekeeping as time allows (during baby’s naps). Web cams present. No evenings/weekends/major holidays, no travel required. Qualification: infant childcare experience with references; college coursework in ECE or child development; current infant CPR/First Aid certification; fluent English; no smoking; reliable transportation to/from our … home; willingness for annual background/credit check, drug screening.’

It concludes with a phone number and, no kidding, an e-mail address. So let’s recap: A professional suburban couple needs someone to raise their child from scratch. Someone with a car who’ll brave two rush hours daily and work without rest 10 1/2 hours daily, 52 1/2 hours weekly, cleaning house when baby’s asleep instead of checking e-mail on her PowerBook. Someone fluent in not only English but also the advanced dialect of early childhood education and development. Someone who doesn’t mind Big Brother capturing her every moment for the comfort of her employers watching on the Web at their desks. Someone who’ll do all that for whatever’s in the fridge and $6.67 an hour — at the top end.

Hat tip to (wait for it…) Pajamas Media.