01 Sep 2008

Facts About Sarah Palin

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Sarah Palin Facts:

The Russians sold Alaska to America because Sarah Palin would not submit to autocracy.

Alaska is the 49th state solely because they knew even before she was born that Sarah Palin would never finish last.

Global Warming doesn’t kill polar bears. Sarah Palin does – usually with her bare hands.

Sarah Palin is allowed first dibs on Alaskan wolfpack kills.

Sarah Palin isn’t allowed to wield the gavel at the convention because they’re afraid she’ll use it to kill liberals.

Sarah Palin begins every day with a moment of silence for the political enemies buried in her yard.

Sarah Palin’s enemies are automatically added to the Endangered Species List

Sarah Palin got Tom Brady pregnant, and then left him.

Chuck Norris wishes he was Sarah Palin trapped in a man’s body.

Sarah Palin paid her way through school by hunting for yeti pelts with a slingshot.

Sarah Palin knows the location of DB Cooper’s body because she threw him from the plane

Death once had a near-Sarah Palin experience.

Sarah Palin is the “other” whom Yoda spoke about.

Sarah Palin will give birth to the man who will lead humanity’s war against the machines.

Sarah Palin uses French Canadians as bait to catch giant king salmon.

To prep for her role as Tracy Flick in “Election,” Reese Witherspoon spent the ‘98 seal clubbing season with Palin

Sarah Palin is actually Kaiser Sose.


From Steve Sailer via Tim of Angle.

One Feedback on "Facts About Sarah Palin"


Finally the real facts about the anti-abortion crusader. I love the fact that she is so pro-life-so she can kill you later hunting or with the death penalty. Good thing that life is so sacred to her! JC


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