The Russians sold Alaska to America because Sarah Palin would not submit to autocracy.
Alaska is the 49th state solely because they knew even before she was born that Sarah Palin would never finish last.
Global Warming doesnâ€™t kill polar bears. Sarah Palin does – usually with her bare hands.
Sarah Palin is allowed first dibs on Alaskan wolfpack kills.
Sarah Palin isnâ€™t allowed to wield the gavel at the convention because theyâ€™re afraid sheâ€™ll use it to kill liberals.
Sarah Palin begins every day with a moment of silence for the political enemies buried in her yard.
Sarah Palinâ€™s enemies are automatically added to the Endangered Species List
Sarah Palin got Tom Brady pregnant, and then left him.
Chuck Norris wishes he was Sarah Palin trapped in a manâ€™s body.
Sarah Palin paid her way through school by hunting for yeti pelts with a slingshot.
Sarah Palin knows the location of DB Cooperâ€™s body because she threw him from the plane
Death once had a near-Sarah Palin experience.
Sarah Palin is the â€œotherâ€ whom Yoda spoke about.
Sarah Palin will give birth to the man who will lead humanityâ€™s war against the machines.
Sarah Palin uses French Canadians as bait to catch giant king salmon.
To prep for her role as Tracy Flick in â€œElection,â€ Reese Witherspoon spent the â€˜98 seal clubbing season with Palin
Sarah Palin is actually Kaiser Sose.