Everyone else is getting a bailout from Bushobama, why not Scrooge & Marley? The firm’s dramatic salary raises, benefit expansions, and a sudden wave of charitable contributions beginning just after the holidays last year have placed a serious strain on profitability just at the time mortgage securities came into question and world financial markets collapsed.
Officials from the Bush administration and members of president-elect Barack Obamaâ€™s economic team are finishing up a proposal to bail out the worldâ€™s biggest counting house, Scrooge & Marley.
Once a financial powerhouse with a sterling balance sheet, the firm has reportedly fallen into wasteful spending practices, heaping money on extra lumps of coal for the employeeâ€™s personal heater and providing a luxurious medical plan for the family of Scrooge & Marleyâ€™s number two man, Bob Cratchit.
Scrooge & Marleyâ€™s CEO and co-founder, Ebeneezer Scrooge, who oversaw a phenomenal runnup in the companyâ€™s worth, has seen his personal wealth and influence diminish following recent dismal business practices.
Derwood Umple, a financial analyst for CNBCâ€™s Dickensian desk, said that while rents have lapsed, Scrooge also reportedly bet heavily in global sub-prime markets.
â€œHe has several properties in the seedier sections of town,â€ Umple said. â€œWord on the street says his management practices have been minimal, at best, and he is either unable or unwilling to collect on loans and rents.â€
In addition, Umple said federal authorities had been looking at Scrooge & Marleyâ€™s charitable contributions.
â€œItâ€™s obviously a tax-reduction scam,â€ said Umple. â€œHe was tossing money at every request from chubby charity men while government prisons and work houses have fallen into considerable state of disrepair.â€
The top hat-wearing CEO hasnâ€™t missed too much on the party scene, though. He was seen attending a holiday party at his nephewâ€™s home shortly before the bailout announcement and making quite merry, paparazzi suggested.