12 Feb 2011

Northern Virginia Counties Compared

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The Washington Post recently, on the basis of 2010 census data, admired Loudoun County’s growth and rejoiced in minority population growth in Prince William County.

Ben M. Dronsick (alas! not available on line except to special electronic subscribers) responded in Wednesday’s Fauquier Democrat to the Washington Post’s omission of praise of the lack of growth in rural Fauquier County by offering a few comparisons between Fauquier County and our neighboring Northern Virginia counties to the north and east.

In FAUQUIER County: Garden tea-party conversation might reminisce about Princess Di.
In LOUDOUN County: Garden tea-party conversation might revolve around princess-cut diamonds.
In PRINCE WILLIAM County: Garden variety tea-party conservatives might be too risky to quote in print.

In FAUQUIER County: Many houses are old, yet look as if they were constructed yesterday.
In LOUDOUN County: Many houses were constructed yesterday, yet look old.
In PRINCE WILLIAM County: Most housing developments look as if they were constructed yesterday, and were.

In FAUQUIER County: Folks want to know where your people are from.
In LOUDOUN County: Folks want to know where your dollars are going.
In PRINCE WILLIAM County: Police want to know where your papers are.

In FAUQUIER County: Realtors advertise the number of square feet under roof.
In LOUDOUN County: Realtors advertise the average number of chimneys under construction.
In PRINCE WILLIAM County: Realtors are too under¬employed to advertise.

In FAUQUIER County: Many original property lines were surveyed by George Washington.
In LOUDOUN County: Many original property lines were subdivided by G.L. Homes.
In PRINCE WILLIAM County: There aren’t any original property lines left.

In FAUQUIER County: Paintings depicting the sport of foxhunting are proudly displayed in people’s homes.
In LOUDOUN County: People’s homes sport paintings of themselves proudly depicted as foxhunting.
In PRINCE WILLIAM County: There aren’t any foxes left.

In FAUQUIER County: The closest one can get to Ireland is McMahon’s.
In LOUDOUN County: The closest one can get to Ireland is Bono’s McMansion.
In PRINCE WILLIAM County: The closest one can get to Ireland is green milkshakes at McDonalds.

In FAUQUIER County: “Farm Use” is a license plate.
In LOUDOUN County: “Farm Use” is a tax strategy.
In PRINCE WILLIAM County: “Farm Use” is a theme at Cracker Barrel.

In FAUQUIER County: Folks say Y’all” to be polite.
In LOUDOUN County: Folks say Y’all” to be politically correct.
In PRINCE WILLIAM County: There is no translation for Y’all.”

Triplets? Not by a Great Meadow mile. No wonder Fauquier was left out.

I used to live in Loudoun County, but early this year moved down to Fauquier County, deeper into Virginia.

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