Establishmentarian James Lileks finds himself tempted to remove his JEB BUSH button and start rooting for The Donald.
The Donald, laid out the skyscraperâ€™s blueprints, and said, â€œWeâ€™ve got a problem. The geological surveys were wrong, and thereâ€™s just not enough bedrock to support 95 stories. Weâ€™ll have to scale it back.â€
I donâ€™t doubt that at that moment, Trump narrows his eyes, lets the tension build, keeps his tongue as the the clock on the wall ticks â€” a beautiful, 19th-century clock made by one of Europeâ€™s finest clock makers, finest pearl on the face and ivory on the sweep hand. Not that he supports killing elephants; heâ€™s a big fan of elephants, he had a statue of one outside the Atlantic City casino, which, by the way, made more money its first year than any casino in history, the people loved it . . . Anyway, the moment builds, the clock ticks, sweat starts on the brows of the engineers.
Trump nods. Then he speaks. â€œFind a way.â€
â€œYou mean â€” double the footings and cross-brace the structure?â€
â€œIf thatâ€™s what it takes.â€
Quick looks among the engineers: The legends are true. Another clears his throat: â€œWe need an inertial dampening mechanism at the top of the structure, or it will sway in high winds. Right now, the design just has penthouses.â€
Trump nods. â€œThe views will be tremendous.â€
â€œBut people will be sickened by the motion of the structure.â€
â€œThe problem with America today is too many people are throwing up. I can change that.â€
A sigh of relief around the table.
I imagine thatâ€™s how it goes, right? Thatâ€™s why I know this man is such a threat. He gets things done. I look at the rest of the candidates, and Iâ€™m pretty sure not one of them ever went on-site with a hard-hat and solved the problem of weak water pressure on the 82nd floor. If Donald Trump can built a 95-story skyscraper and have a heckler ejected in a news conference, of course he can build a wall and find every illegal and put them on a bus to wherever. Heâ€™d do it by decree, right? I am so waiting for someone to do the decree thing for stuff I secretly want.
Heâ€™ll ride a horse up Pennsylvania Avenue on Inauguration Day, right? Say heâ€™ll ride a horse and I am off Jebâ€™s team in a second.
Hat tip to Robert Laird.