15 Oct 2015

Duffleblog: Webb Tries Reassuring Liberal Voters

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Duffleblog offers some comfort to the democrat bed-wetting liberal community.

LAS VEGAS, Nevada — Just hours after the Democratic Presidential debate was broadcast on CNN, Sen. Jim Webb (D-Va.) made a solemn vow to not kill again if elected President, sources confirmed.

Webb, a former Marine officer and Secretary of the Navy, admitted his comments during the debate about the enemy who wounded him with a grenade not being around to tell about it were maybe “a bit too real” for the liberal crowd, close associates of Webb told reporters.

Though Webb cautioned during a post-debate interview from his freshly-dug two-man fighting position that he had taken a man’s life and wasn’t afraid to do it again.

The 69-year-old tried to further explain his comments that drew shock during the debate: “Look, I know what it looks like when a .45 slug takes a man’s brain and paints a Picasso with it,” he said, while miming brain matter exploding out of the back of his head.

He added: “If you elect me President you won’t have to learn what it looks like too,” said the Vietnam war hero, as he began fashioning a necklace of human ears.

According to close associates, once he’s elected as commander-in-chief, Webb plans to delegate future killing to subordinates since he understands that as a good leader, he needs to foster their development and give them a chance to kill for themselves.


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