20 May 2019

Next Up For Britain: Spoon Control!

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The Regents Park Police recently proudly posted a photograph of the arms cache collected from a local charity shop, and destined for destruction so that they will not fall into the wrong hands.

I see a large number of undoubtedly dull used paring knives, a few old and cheap chef’s knives, a lowest quality used carving knife, several bread knives, two sharpening steels, two carving forks, a letter opener, a cheap tourist-trade replica barong, a cheap and inaccurate tourist version of a tanto, one fencing foil (these are all blunt), a cake frosting spreader, and a spoon (!).

Now, thank goodness, with that deadly spoon safely off the street, citizens of Regents Park can sleep safe in their beds.

2 Feedbacks on "Next Up For Britain: Spoon Control!"

Schill McGuffin

The tweet makes the point that these were offered up to the police for disposal by a charity shop that was “nervous” about their falling into the wrong hands, rather than being seized by the police. So some things, like the fencing foil, might not technically be banned, but were just stuff that the shop would normally have thrown away, but concern over the “knife problem” led them to think “Uh oh… somebody might clip the flat tip off this foil and hurt someone with it!” (as opposed to, say, just stabbing them with a screwdriver). So apparently Her Majesty’s Goon Squad isn’t breaking down doors in search of spoons just yet, they’re merely fostering paranoia about pointy and/or sharp things.

I still don’t get the spoon… It’s hard to tell from the pic, but it’s just possible that its a serrated edge grapefruit spoon that some snowflake at the charity store thought looked intimidating. It may also have just gotten thrown in the “discard” bag with the other stuff, and nobody much cared that it was being sent to cops instead of treated as conventional trash.


And they wonder why they no longer have an empire? or much else? I travel to the UK on a regular basis and 30-40 of the people I meet can’t really think rationally because they are scared of just about everything. Their biggest priority seems to be removing all dangers or reasons for insecurity from their lives. And they wonder why they don’t have much? A truly sad place.


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