T.A. Frank, in Vanity Fair, totally demolishes the third member of the Clinton Dynasty.
Like tribesmen laying out a sacrifice to placate King Kong, news outlets continue to make offerings to the Clinton gods. In The New York Times alone, Chelsea has starred in multiple features over the past few months: for her tweeting (itâ€™s become â€œfeistyâ€), for her upcoming book (to be titled She Persisted), and her reading habits (she says she has an â€œembarrassingly largeâ€ collection of books on her Kindle). With Chelseaâ€™s 2015 book, Itâ€™s Your World, now out in paperback, the puff pieces in other outletsâ€”Elle, People, etc.â€”are too numerous to count.
One wishes to calm these publications: You can stop this now. Havenâ€™t you heard that the great Kong is no more? Nevertheless, theyâ€™ve persisted. At great cost: increased Chelsea exposure is tied closely to political despair and, in especially intense cases, the bulk purchasing of MAGA hats. So letâ€™s review: How did Chelsea become such a threat?
Perhaps the best way to start is by revisiting some of Chelseaâ€™s major post-2008 forays into the public eye. Starting in 2012, she began to allow glossy magazines to profile her, and she picked up speed in the years that followed. The results were all friendly in aim, and yet the picture that kept emerging from the growing pile of Chelsea quotations was that of a person accustomed to courtiers nodding their heads raptly. Here are Chelseaâ€™s thoughts on returning to red meat in her diet: â€œIâ€™m a big believer in listening to my bodyâ€™s cravings.â€ On her time in the â€œfiercely meritocraticâ€ workplace of Wall Street: â€œI was curious if I could care about [money] on some fundamental level, and I couldnâ€™t.â€ On her precocity: â€œThey told me that my father had learned to read when he was three. So, of course, I thought I had to too. The first thing I learned to read was the newspaper.â€ Take that, Click, Clack, Moo.
Chelsea, people were quietly starting to observe, had a tendency to talk a lot, and at length, not least about Chelsea. But you couldnâ€™t interrupt, not even if youâ€™re on TV at NBC, where she was earning $600,000 a year at the time. â€œWhen you are with Chelsea, you really need to allow her to finish,â€ Jay Kernis, one of Clintonâ€™s segment producers at NBC, told Vogue. â€œSheâ€™s not used to being interrupted that way.â€
Sounds perfect for a dating profile: I speak at length, and you really need to let me finish. Iâ€™m not used to interruptions.
What comes across with Chelsea, for lack of a gentler word, is self-regard of an unusual intensity. And the effect is stronger on paper. Unkind as it is to say, reading anything by Chelsea Clintonâ€”tweets, interviews, booksâ€”is best compared to taking in spoonfuls of plain oatmeal that, periodically, conceal a toenail clipping.