Category Archive 'Rants'
05 Aug 2019
From Oregon Muse:
“Ever since 1980 I’ve heard liberals hyperventilating about the menace of the “far right” in this country. I’ve heard dire warnings about theocracy about to descend on us. We’re just one Trump EO away from the Handmaid’s Tale. Progressives actually believe this.
“Of course, all of this is so silly, it’s hardly worth refuting.
“But you know what? At this point, I don’t care. In fact I can’t wait. I actually want this to happen. Bring on the theocracy! I want to see liberals silenced by force for a change. I want to see the things they hold dear smashed and mocked and degraded before their eyes. I want to see feminist bakers forced to produce cakes with “A woman’s place is in the home” written in icing. I want to see progressives keeping silent out of fear. I want to see them brutalized by thugs who know they won’t be punished. I want to see their gender studies classes disrupted by screaming goon squads. I want to see their politicians obscenely mocked, slandered, and ran out of restaurants. And I want them to realize the laws won’t save them.
“Because they were okay with lawlessness when it was directed at someone else. What are they going to do when it comes back at them, when they’ve destroyed the only means that could save them?
“In short I want every f*ing progressive in America to have their faces ground in the dirt the way they’ve been grinding the flag of this country in the dirt.”
(h/t Trimegistus for providing the material for today’s rant.)
I often feel that way.
17 Dec 2014
Nils Parker likes the service and selection of products at Whole Foods. He just can’t stand his fellow customers.
The problem with Whole Foods is their regular customers. They are, across the board, across the country, useless, ignorant, and miserable. Theyâ€™re worse than miserable, theyâ€™re angry. They are quite literally the opposite of every Whole Foods employee Iâ€™ve ever encountered. Walk through any store any time of dayâ€”but especially 530pm on a weekday or Saturday afternoon during football seasonâ€”and invariably you will encounter a sneering, disdainful horde of hipster Zombies and entitled 1%ers.
They stand in the middle of the aisles, blocking passage of any other cart, staring intently at the selection asking themselves that critical question: which one of these olive oils makes me seem coolest and most socially conscious, while also making the raw vegetable salad Iâ€™m preparing for the monthly condo board meeting seem most rustic and artisanal?
If you are a normal human being, when you come upon a person like this in the aisle you clear your throat or say excuse me, hoping against hope that they catch your drift. They donâ€™t. In fact, they are disgusted by your very existence. The idea that you would violate their personal shopping spaceâ€”which seems to be the entire storeâ€”or deign to request anything of them is so far beyond the pale that most times all they can muster is an â€œUgh!â€
Over the years I have tried everything to remain civil to these people, but nothing has worked, so Iâ€™ve stopped trying. Instead, I walk over to their cart and physically move it to the side for them. Usually, the shock of such an egregious transgression is so great that the â€œUgh!â€ doesnâ€™t happen until Iâ€™m around the corner out of sight. Usually, all I get is an incredulous bug-eyed stare. Sometimes I get both though, and when that happens, I look them square in the eye and say â€œMove. Your. Cart.â€ I used the same firm tone as Jason Bourne, with the hushed urgency of Jack Bauer and the
uncomfortable proximity of Judge Reinhold. From their reaction youâ€™d think I just committed an armed robbery or a sexual assault. When words fail them, as they often do with passive aggressive Whole Foods zombies, the anger turns inward and they start to vibrate with righteous indignation. Eventually, that pent up energy has to go somewhere, and like solar flares it bursts forth into the universe as paroxysms of rage.
Outside the four walls of a Whole Foods, you might recognize these people as Gawker commenters or Twitter shamers. Inside, they are the breathless, self-important shoppers who just canâ€™t believe!! that itâ€™s taking this long to check out. They are busy, they have somewhere to be. Donâ€™t these people in the other six open checkout lanes that are each 3 shoppers deep understand that, WTF??!?
Read the whole thing.
08 Jul 2014
Ann Coulter celebrates the World Cup with a red-blooded, all-American anti-soccer rant.
Liberal moms like soccer because it’s a sport in which athletic talent finds so little expression that girls can play with boys. No serious sport is co-ed, even at the kindergarten level. …
I resent the force-fed aspect of soccer. The same people trying to push soccer on Americans are the ones demanding that we love HBO’s “Girls,” light-rail, Beyonce and Hillary Clinton. The number of New York Times articles claiming soccer is “catching on” is exceeded only by the ones pretending women’s basketball is fascinating.
I note that we don’t have to be endlessly told how exciting football is. …
It’s foreign. In fact, that’s the precise reason the Times is constantly hectoring Americans to love soccer. One group of sports fans with whom soccer is not “catching on” at all, is African-Americans. They remain distinctly unimpressed by the fact that the French like it. …
Soccer is like the metric system, which liberals also adore because it’s European.
Read the whole thing.
For some absolutely unaccountable reason, Coulter’s column resulted in much controversy and provoked a great deal of criticism (all from lefties writing in places like HuffPo and Talking Points Memo.
Coulter responded to her critics here.
Further proof that soccer is a game for girls: Since my column came out, a guy from the Paraguay team (Uruguay? Who cares?) was caught biting an opponent in a match. Not punching. Not a cross-body block. BITING! How long can it be until we see hair-pulling in soccer?
17 Jun 2014
(Me, I still do.)
Thezman celebrates the World Cup with a good anti-soccer (aka Fag Ball) rant.
What turns me off of soccer is the cultural angle. When I was a boy, our betters were trying to force soccer and the metric system on us. The people doing it were all dickheads. Not a single one was anything but a loathsome snob. Worse yet, all of them were the children of working class people who knew better. But, Johnny and Betty went off to the state college and came back thinking they were better than everyone else.
Over time, those people have remained with us. When I think of soccer, I think of those smug assholes of my youth. Iâ€™ve probably heard â€œit is the most popular sport in the worldâ€ a million times in my life. That is the sort of thing stupid say when they want to sound sophisticated. In most of the world, soccer is the sport of the lower classes. That means out bourgeois bohemians are aping the mores of chavs. Good job.
Read the whole thing.
What I despise about soccer is the way suburban bouzhy parents promoted this sissy European game in preference to Walter Camp’s All American football, motivated a) by cowardice and fear that their precious little urchins might get injured and b) by a snobbish rejection of ordinary down home American culture in favor of a supposedly more chic and sophisticated recreation esteemed in other countries.