Kenneth Lowe marvels that, old, fat, and ill-behaved as he is, Stephen Seagal is still able to keep making lots and lots of really terrible movies.
â€œWhat you have to understand is that Steven Seagal isnâ€™t about being a good action hero. Heâ€™s always about being a complete fucking asshole. Thatâ€™s, like, his duty. â€¦ Steven Seagal is our hero/villain, where heâ€™s apparently the protagonist, but he just does the cruelest, most fucked-up shit that he possibly can.â€ â€”El-P, member of Run The Jewels and avowed Seagal fan
Since his falling out with Warner Brothers, Seagal has become an unbelievable workhorse, albeit one who shows up to maybe a few days of filming and looks terrible. With the exception of the couple of years he was doing his reality show and another TV series, heâ€™s put out two if not at least three pictures per year since 2003, almost all of them direct-to-video. I havenâ€™t seen one scene in any of them where he can convincingly throw a punch.
He will never stop making them, because they will never stop making money, because his own salary is probably the largest expenditure of anything involved in the production. It certainly isnâ€™t lighting or locations.
I wanted this to be a handy explanation of why Seagal is still around and why he continues to make pictures, but in tracking his career, I realize Iâ€™ve failed. There is no explanation, not in any way that makes sense in a sane and ordered society that rewards merit and punishes incompetence, sloth and cruelty toward others. …
Thatâ€™s the final paradox of Seagal. He cranked out more movies last year than Jude Law at his height, yet heâ€™s the laziest actor imaginable. He puts people in real bodily danger by his very presence, yet he walks free and enjoys celebrity. He canâ€™t throw a punch in fewer than three cuts yet heâ€™s immune to shame, Manâ€™s oldest weapon.
Read the whole thing.
Hat tip to Stephen Green.