Category Archive 'Tom Weller'

08 Jan 2013

Beowulf Meets Godsylla

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    Meanehwæl, baccat meaddehæle,
    monstær lurccen;
    Fulle few too many drincce,
    hie luccen for fyht.
    Ðen Hreorfneorhtðhwr,
    son of Hrwærowþheororthwl,
    Æsccen æwful jeork
    to steop outsyd.
    Þhud! Bashe! Crasch! Beoom!
    Ðe bigge gye
    Eallum his bon brak,
    byt his nose offe;
    Wicced Godsylla
    wæld on his asse.
    Monstær moppe fleor wyþ
    eallum men in hælle.
    Beowulf in bacceroome
    fonecall bamaccen wæs;
    Hearen sond of ruccus
    sæd, “Hwæt ðe helle?”
    Graben sheold strang
    ond swich-blæd scharp
    Stond feorth to fyht
    ðe grimlic foe.
    “Me,” Godsylla sæd,
    “mac ðe minsemete.”
    Heoro cwyc geten heold
    wiþ fæmed half-nelson
    Ond flyng him lic frisbe
    bac to fen
    Beowulf belly up
    to meaddehæle bar,
    Sæd, “Ne foe beaten
    mie færsom cung-fu.”
    Eorderen cocca-cohla
    yce-coeld, ðe reol þyng.

Tom Weller, Cvltvre Made Stvpid

Hat tip to Karen L. Myres.


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