08 Jan 2013
Beowulf Meets Godsylla
Beowulf, Godzilla, Old English, Parody, Tom Weller
- Meanehwæl, baccat meaddehæle,
monstær lurccen;
Fulle few too many drincce,
hie luccen for fyht.
Ãen Hreorfneorhtðhwr,
son of Hrwærowþheororthwl,
Æsccen æwful jeork
to steop outsyd.
Þhud! Bashe! Crasch! Beoom!
Ãe bigge gye
Eallum his bon brak,
byt his nose offe;
Wicced Godsylla
wæld on his asse.
Monstær moppe fleor wyþ
eallum men in hælle.
Beowulf in bacceroome
fonecall bamaccen wæs;
Hearen sond of ruccus
sæd, “Hwæt ðe helle?â€
Graben sheold strang
ond swich-blæd scharp
Stond feorth to fyht
ðe grimlic foe.
“Me,†Godsylla sæd,
“mac ðe minsemete.â€
Heoro cwyc geten heold
wiþ fæmed half-nelson
Ond flyng him lic frisbe
bac to fen
Beowulf belly up
to meaddehæle bar,
Sæd, “Ne foe beaten
mie færsom cung-fu.â€
Eorderen cocca-cohla
yce-coeld, ðe reol þyng.
—Tom Weller, Cvltvre Made Stvpid
Hat tip to Karen L. Myres.
