Beowulf Meets Godsylla
Beowulf, Godzilla, Old English, Parody, Tom Weller
- Meanehwæl, baccat meaddehæle,
monstær lurccen;
Fulle few too many drincce,
hie luccen for fyht.
Ãen Hreorfneorhtðhwr,
son of Hrwærowþheororthwl,
Æsccen æwful jeork
to steop outsyd.
Þhud! Bashe! Crasch! Beoom!
Ãe bigge gye
Eallum his bon brak,
byt his nose offe;
Wicced Godsylla
wæld on his asse.
Monstær moppe fleor wyþ
eallum men in hælle.
Beowulf in bacceroome
fonecall bamaccen wæs;
Hearen sond of ruccus
sæd, “Hwæt ðe helle?â€
Graben sheold strang
ond swich-blæd scharp
Stond feorth to fyht
ðe grimlic foe.
“Me,†Godsylla sæd,
“mac ðe minsemete.â€
Heoro cwyc geten heold
wiþ fæmed half-nelson
Ond flyng him lic frisbe
bac to fen
Beowulf belly up
to meaddehæle bar,
Sæd, “Ne foe beaten
mie færsom cung-fu.â€
Eorderen cocca-cohla
yce-coeld, ðe reol þyng.
—Tom Weller, Cvltvre Made Stvpid
Hat tip to Karen L. Myres.
Krauthammer Has Another One for Warmlist
Al Gore, Albert Gore, Charles Krauthammer, Global Warming, Godzilla
Look out, Tokyo!
Earlier this week, Al Gore identified the reason we’ve been experiencing a bitter-cold, snow-filled winter recently.
[S]cientists have been warning for at least two decades that global warming could make snowstorms more severe. Snow has two simple ingredients: cold and moisture. Warmer air collects moisture like a sponge until it hits a patch of cold air. When temperatures dip below freezing, a lot of moisture creates a lot of snow.â€
“A rise in global temperature can create all sorts of havoc, ranging from hotter dry spells to colder winters, along with increasingly violent storms, flooding, forest fires and loss of endangered species.â€
Charles Krauthammer is clearly the winner of the subsequent week-long competition in ridiculing Gore.
Warmlist needs a new category for satirical proposed additions.