01 Mar 2013

Sequestration Arrives: The Horror! The Horror!

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Jim Geraughty, in his morning email, the Morning Jolt, collected tweeted reactions to the carnage.

Under Sequester, the Morning Jolt Will Be 2 Percent Shorter Than Before

Shortly after midnight, this is what happened, according to Twitter:

Stephen Gutowski
: “Just tried driving but since sequestration went into effect the roads have all crumbled into dust.”

Brendan Loy: “OH MY GOD THERE ARE GOVERNMENT WORKERS SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTING ALL OVER THE PLACE, THIS IS HORRIBLE, PLEASE MAKE IT STOP” …

Jonah: “It wasn’t until I ate my neighbor’s pancreas that I realized president Obama was right about the sequester.”

Iowahawk: “The corpses are piling up outside my window like cordwood, oh my God the humanity.”

Sebastian: “Nothing to worry about! I grabbed my double barrel shotgun & blasted #sequester through the door, just like the VP said.”

Ari Fleischer: “President Obama is right. Undo the sequester! I can’t stand it already.”

Becket Adams: “I don’t think my neighbors are taking sequestration seriously. They’re giving me weird looks and making fun of my war paint and loincloth.”

Exurban Jon: “So this is what anarchy feels like . . . From now on, I shall be known as ;ExJon, Warlord of the Western Deserts.'”

Buck Sexton: “Did America lose 170,000,000 jobs in the last 10 minutes? Keep me informed, everyone.”

Brandon Morse: “The #sequester may now join the Mayan Calendar and the Y2K bug in the “[Stuff] Everyone Survived” Hall of Fame.”

By morning, it was even worse:

Rick Wilson: “A few hours of fitful sleep, the sound of sirens and screams of the victims of the Barackolypse rending the night air . . . I saw their fires in the dark, savagery swiftly tearing away the thin veneer of civilization only government diversity programs provided.”

John Podhoretz: “Just looked out the window. Five hedge fund guys fighting over a piece of raw meat.”

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3 Feedbacks on "Sequestration Arrives: The Horror! The Horror!"

T. Shaw

There could be 170,000,000 (not 134,000,000) jobs if Obama were not president.



Svetoslav Elenkov

Hahaha.. this is hilarious. Thanks for a good laugh =)



SDD

NY Times: Sequestration triggered. Blacks, women, Hispanics, homosexuals and kittens to suffer disproportionately.



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