Sunday nightâ€™s episode of The Simpsons, â€œCaper Chase,â€ ridiculed the â€œhighly-entitled wussesâ€ that attend Americaâ€™s universities.
When Mr. Burns tries to endow a Department of Nuclear Plant Management at his alma mater, Yale University, he comes face to face with the horror that is todayâ€™s college campus: easily offended, politically correct students overdosed with a hatred for micro-aggressions and cultural appropriation with a need for safe spaces.
Mr. Burns- I’d like to endow a Department of Nuclear Plant Management.
Male Yale Representative- Wonderful. Of course we can’t do nuclear.
Female Yale Representative – Our students are highly-entitled wusses.
Male Yale Representative – You’d be creating a space for violence to happen. How about funding a chair in the non-narrative cinema of self-identified pan-sexuals?
Mr. Burns- What? What? What? What? What?!
Female Yale Representative – We also need to hire more deans to decide which Halloween costumes are appropriate.
Male Yale Representative – Eight deans should do it.
Mr. Burns- (Sputters) Is this still a coven of capitalism where evil money can acquire a patina of virtue?
Male Yale Representative – Yes, thatâ€™s in our charter.
Female Yale Representative – But with an issue as hetero-patriarchal as nuclear power, we’ll have to hire multicultural empathizers, build a new safe space.
College Student- Not so fast. We insist on a chair of anti-nuclear studies and a nuclear-neutral curriculum pathway.
Male Yale Representative – Absolutely, Teddy. We run all decisions past the squash team.
College Student- Also the fencing team, water polo and Handsome Dan the mascot.
Mascot- (Goofy laughter)
Mr. Burns- Release me, you hound.
Mascot- (Goofy laughter) Oh, yeah.
Mr. Burns- What’s happened to this place? (Gasps) (Gasps) This was the home of ruthless media disruptor Samuel F.B. Morse. Who’s his successor? That fellow?
College Student- “Fellow”? That word is cis-gender-normative, okay? You’re worse than Hitler!
Mr. Burns- Too late for flattery. I’m not giving this school a dime.
The Simpsons was explicit in its parody of Yale students, even using an exact quote from a student.
Mr. Burns learns that the PC-obsession has reached all corners of the university as he meets a few recently fired professors, including one professor who was fired for celebrating Columbus Day and another who referred to God as â€œHe.â€
Later in the episode, Homer must disrupt a manâ€™s scheme to place robot-students in colleges in order to receive tax-payer funded student loans. Upon leaving a gender-neutral bathroom, Homer comes up with a plan to sabotage the robots by offending them.
This video wasn’t loading successfully this morning, but I’ll leave it here for now, hoping that they’ll fix the link.
Hat tip to classmate Seattle Sam.