Mallory Ortberg imagines Dagny Taggart texting:
Francisco are you awake?
what is it
Francisco, I canâ€™t sleep
I had a bad dream
the one about the Communists?
I donâ€™t want to talk about it
tell me about the root of money again, Francisco
what time is it?
Come on, Francisco
Iâ€™ll help get you started
â€œMoney is a root of exchangeâ€¦â€
I have to work in the morning
â€œPaper is a mortgage on wealth that does not existâ€¦â€
you donâ€™t even need me to tell you what money is
I like the way that you tell it best
all right, Iâ€™ll tell you about the root of money
do that voice you do for the looters, ok
do your looters voice
Iâ€™ll do my looters voice