Especially amusing in German.
Duffleblog today brings us this moving coming out story from one brave soul who took a long look into the mirror and finally came honestly to terms with his [its] in-born sexual identity.
I have finally found the strength to admit it.
I was 12 years old when I realized that Iâ€™m not really a man at heart, but rather a 19 foot, 10.5 inch long gatling gun strapped onto a 24,959 pound airframe.
All my life has been a lie but Iâ€™m setting that right today. I was designed to kill Soviet tanks. From now on, call me â€œWarthog.â€ Thatâ€™s my real name.
Iâ€™m having plastic surgeons attach a GAU-8 Avenger 30 milimeter rotary cannon, 1,200 pounds of titanium armor, and two General Electric TF34-GE-100 turbofan engines to my body. Sgt. Major Fairchild said Iâ€™m fucking stupid and I canâ€™t be a jet, but Iâ€™m beautiful and I am a goddamn jet.
If the Army wonâ€™t pay for me to get the surgery, Iâ€™m just going to bring in Code Pink and point out that that Manning loser is getting hormones and heâ€™s in prison so why shouldnâ€™t a perfectly well-adjusted and honorably serving soldier have the right to be who they truly are, a metal killing machine?
I am so sick and tired of being oppressed. Now we A-10â€™s are on Congressâ€™s chopping block. Itâ€™s sickening to see all the white cisgender nazi shitlords literally raping my people with their actions.
Itâ€™s my right to spray 2,100 to 4,200 depleted uranium rounds per minute at both soft and hard targets and if you donâ€™t support me and my transformation then youâ€™re an aerialphobe and need to check your weapon platform privilege.