Religious Conservatives Argue Adam And Eve Would Never Have Been Banished From Eden If Theyâ€™d Had Guns
HOUSTONâ€”In what they described as scriptural evidence of the right to bear arms, leading figures among the religious right gathered Wednesday to issue a statement arguing that Adam and Eve would never have been banished from the Garden of Eden if they had owned guns. â€œJust imagine: If Adam and Eve had carried firearms and stood their ground against God, they would have been able to eat the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge in peace, and He could never have forced them to leave paradise,â€ said Pastor Hugh Peters of Houstonâ€™s Second Baptist Church, explaining how the entire course of human history would have been altered for the better if the first man and woman had taken the simple precaution of keeping a semiautomatic weapon at the ready for use during emergencies. â€œGod was trespassing on their property, pure and simple. He had absolutely no right to force them from their home. Had Eve been able to open-carry a handgun, maybe tying it to her hip with a vine or something, God would have known to back off. This is one of the Bibleâ€™s most important lessons.â€
God didn’t make men equal, after all. That was Samuel Colt.
HT: Stephen Frankel.