24 Jan 2017
Dutch to Trump: Make the Netherlands Second!
Donald Trump, Humor, Netherlands
From Dutch television show “zondag met lubach”.
Category Archive 'Humor'
27 Dec 2016
The Bronze Rat
Humor
From Lisa Schiffren on Facebook:
A Tourist walked into a Chinese curio shop in San Francisco . While looking around at the exotic merchandise, he noticed a very lifelike, life-sized, bronze statue of a rat. It had no price tag, but was so incredibly striking the tourist decided he must have it. He took it to the old shop owner and asked, “How much for the bronze rat ?”
“Ahhh, you have chosen wisely! It is $12 for the rat and $100 for the story,” said the wise old Chinaman.
The tourist quickly pulled out twelve dollars. “I’ll just take the rat, you can keep the story”.
As he walked down the street carrying his bronze rat, the tourist noticed that a few real rats had crawled out of the alleys and sewers and had begun following him down the street. This was a bit disconcerting so he began walking faster.
A couple blocks later he looked behind him and saw to his horror the herd of rats behind him had grown to hundreds, and they began squealing.
Sweating now, the tourist began to trot toward San Francisco Bay.
Again, after a couple blocks, he looked around only to discover that the rats now numbered in the MILLIONS, and were squealing and coming toward him faster and faster.
Terrified, he ran to the edge of the Bay and threw the bronze rat as far as he could into the Bay.
Amazingly, the millions of rats all jumped into the Bay after the bronze rat and were all drowned.
The man walked back to the curio shop in Chinatown.
“Ahhh,” said the owner, “You come back for story?”
“No sir,” said the man, “I came back to see if you have a bronze Democrat.
03 Dec 2016
Then There Will Be the Title Changes…
Defense Department, General James Mattis, Humor
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03 Dec 2016
New Mattis Pentagon Policies Predicted
Defense Department, General James Mattis, Humor
We Are the Mighty predicts some policy changes at the Pentagon as soon as General Mattis takes over as Secretary of Defense.
1. The “Run, Hide, Fight†active shooter policy will be simplified.
The Department of Homeland Security prepares citizens to respond to an active shooter scenario using the phrase “Run. Hide. Fight.†Which is great… for DHS. James Mattis’ DoD won’t run. And they definitely won’t hide.
2. Incoming employees must submit a plan to kill everyone in their work section. …
4. Every employee’s in-processing checklist will include getting shot at. …
28 Oct 2016
Bad News for The Donald!
Donald Trump, Harry Potter, Humor
NewsThump reports: Destruction of Walk Of Fame star leaves Donald Trump down to his last six Horcruxes.
Stabbing a copy of The Art Of The Deal with a Basilisk’s tooth is the next step to eliminating Donald Trump, according to experts this morning.
Donald Trump howled in agony and demanded a flask of serpent’s milk to help him recover some strength after the destruction of his first Horcrux on Hollywood’s Walk of Fame yesterday.
Trump, whose unusually-styled hair is believed to hide a face on the back of his head, is understood to have concealed fragments of his soul in multiple receptacles in an attempt to protect himself from defeat in the forthcoming election….
Read the whole thing.
