Category Archive 'Kurt Schlichter'
02 Apr 2020
Kurt Schlichter finds the pandemic bringing out the best in the media spokespersons of the elite coastal community of fashion.
Another hitherto unknown skill that the media believes it possesses is logistics. â€œWhy hasnâ€™t Trump commanded a million ventilators to appear?!â€ the reporters demand. Itâ€™s pretty easy to see where they might have gotten the idea that the moment one articulates a desire to possess something that it magically appears. Capitalism has pretty much made that a reality. If you want something, you can go to a store and get it 24/7, or you can go on Amazon and itâ€™ll be at your Manhattan apartment in 48 hours. Since they have never built anything or transported anything or distributed anything, only benefited from the labor of the unhip people who do those things, itâ€™s only natural that the delayed adolescents who make up our media class imagine that material goods can be simply wished into being. After all, for all practical purposes during normal times, because of the efforts of Americans they look down upon, material goods pretty much can be simply wished into being. But prosperity takes work, not that the media would know.
Rhodes scholar Racheal Maddow mocked our Navy over the idea it could sail a floating hospital up to New York, leveraging her nautical knowledge to insist it was weeks away. It took all those water army people a week. Oh, and the ground army simultaneously built a full hospital in a few days. And, amazingly, almost none of the folks doing it attended Haaaaaarvard. But hey, our media elite has contributed â€“ itâ€™s accomplishedâ€¦uhâ€¦umâ€¦shut up, racists!
12 May 2018
Kurt Schlichter claims that Science proves that you need a modern semiautomatic, so-called Assault Rifle.
[Y]ou should own, at a minimum, a modern semiautomatic rifle like an AR-15 that is simple to operate, easily accessorized for the individual user, reliable, and rugged. Liberals call these â€œassault rifles,â€ though they are not. Insisting that liberals be accurate when describing what they seek to ban is â€œgunsplaining,â€ a heinous macroaggression that is right up there with assuming someoneâ€™s gender on the Big List Oâ€™ Liberal Sins.
If you don’t agree with me, you clearly hate science. Why do liberals hate science so much?
But it is science â€“ the math is clear that chaos is in the cards, and you better be ready.
Now, if only Kurt will get to work demonstrating the scientific basis for my need for a side-lever Stephen Grant hammergun…
18 Nov 2017
Promises Kurt Schlichter (who’s been on a roll rhetorically of late).
With all the awful things happening now â€“ the discord, the anger, the stupidity â€“ at least those of my generation can rest easy knowing that the Millennials are going to suffer after weâ€™re gone. Sure, Iâ€™m going to die a lot sooner than them â€“ unless someone invents some sort of expensive life extension potion that I can buy but they canâ€™t because they will still be paying off their degrees in Oppression Studies and Virtue Signaling Arts until the year 2083. But at least Iâ€™ll know that we left them a suitably terrible world, since they are a terrible generation.
Millennials are the spawn we deserve â€“ annoying, posturing, and frequently pierced. They are utterly convinced of their own moral superiority, and yet they donâ€™t even believe in morals. Well, thatâ€™s not quite true â€“ they just confuse morals with the increasingly bizarre patchwork of taboos and fetishes of the social justice weirdos they use as their moral compasses. When you ask people, â€œWhatâ€™s the worldâ€™s biggest problem,â€ and they answer, â€œThe structural paradigm imposed by cisgender Western males,â€ and you reply, â€œHow about, I dunno, ISIS?â€ and they answer â€œWell, who are we to judge their culture?â€ itâ€™s slappinâ€™ time. …
OK, so we dug this country $20 trillion into debt, we have a world full of enemies and a military thatâ€™s collapsing, and we saddled Millennials with Obamacare, a magical system that makes healthcare worse, but at least it costs more. Yet they seem cool with it. Oh, and politically, the country is divided as never before, at least not since Lincoln, who you Millennials think owned slaves because â€¦ sheesh, you nitwits think Lincoln owned slaves. …
Back in the day, we crushed uppity Russian empires, no thanks to commie-hugging liberals who told us that the Reds loved their children too. You Millennials know that awful Sting song â€“ your mom used to listen to it in the Volvo while carting you to soccer or whatever other sick, soul-killing enrichment activities she forced you into instead of letting you run free in the streets and woods like we did. But now we cower at the same losers Reagan stripped of their Ural Mountain oysters in fear of them posting some super-persuasive Facebook ads targeted at making autoworkers in Michigan fall out of their deep and abiding love for Hillary.
Yeah, we messed up, but you Millennials reading this on your smartphones, which you can see without glasses or squinting, shouldnâ€™t act so high and mighty. You had a chance to fix all of this and instead youâ€™ve chosen to never move out of your parentsâ€™ houses and to just sit around and invent new pronouns for genders that donâ€™t exist. A couple decades down the road, when Iâ€™m dead from chronic bitterness and drinking too much expensive cabernet that I buy with the Social Security money youâ€™ll be toiling to pay me, you wonâ€™t have families or careers. Youâ€™ll be my age and still making coffee for the next generation of ingrates, the children of the immigrants and super-religious Christians who represent the only portion of America still making babies. Youâ€™ll come home to your used Mitsubishi love robot named Olive, reheat some Sara Lee avocado toast sticks, and watch Saturday Night Live as it tries to make fun of President Donald Trump, Jr.
19 Sep 2017
(Headline from BGA)
Kurt Schlichter explains that the left keeps changing the rules in order to keep winning.
The Brooke Baldwin mammary mess is just another example of how liberals leverage their ability to create new rules out of thin air as a means of asserting their power over us normals. What was A-OK yesterday is now forbidden, and what was forbidden yesterday is now mandatory. Their goal is to keep our heads spinning and paralyze us with fear, like nearsighted corporals caught in a minefield and terrified that if we take one wrong step we will detonate a concealed wrongthink booby-trap. They want us living in fear of their fussy wrath, and that is precisely why it is so important for us to keep abreast of pseudo-scandals like this so we can nip these libfascists’ schemes in the bud and deny them the ability to rack up yet another victory in the culture war. …
Part of the strategy behind the new rules is to not actually have any firm rules, to make you so uncertain and timid that you’re unwilling to take any action because anything you do, at any time, can be a violation of a rule that didn’t exist 30 seconds before. If you do talk about female body parts, you’re wrong because you’re insulting womyn, and if you don’t talk about female body parts, you’re wrong because you are invisibling womyn. Basically, if you don’t have any female body parts, you’re just wrong all of the time. Unless you have fake female body parts and betrayed your country; then you are America’s greatest hero and a martyr to Harvard’s infamous legacy of transphobia. Or something.
11 May 2017
Trump gets well-deserved applause from Kurt Schlichter for firing that crook Comey.
We always knew Donald Trump was brassy, but until he sent half-stepping ex-FBI Director James Comey packing, we didnâ€™t know that his manparts were made of brass. You gotta be hardcore to step up to that sanctimonious tool, that Kasich-With-A-Badge, and cut him off at the knees in the face of the inevitable monsoon of fake news media panic, girlish Democrat howling, and sputtering Menschian Russianoia.
No hesitation. No apologies. When it became inarguable that this pumped up functionary with delusions of omnipotence had finally passed his sell-by date, Trump pulled the trigger. Thatâ€™s taking charge. Thatâ€™s leading from the front. Thatâ€™s regulating. Damn, itâ€™s nice to once again have a chief executive whoâ€™s not a simpering femboy.
The pathetic Democrats were caught so utterly off-guard, and were so completely bought-into their spittle-flicking Comey hate, that their 180 from calling for Comeyâ€™s head to calling for his restoration will give them mental whiplash. Theyâ€™ll be in figurative neck braces just like the one their hero Ted Kennedy wore after he left Mary Jo in the pond.
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