Babylon Bee (the new paper of record):
WASHINGTON, D.C.â€”Congress has asked all non-essential businesses to limit their hours or close entirely for an undetermined amount of time.
But this shutdown mistakenly shut down the most non-essential entity of all: the government. For a brief period of time, all government in the United States was illegal, since it is completely non-essential to everything.
Floreat Anarchia! Ewige Bumenkraft!