Via Ratak Monodosico.

Discount offers in chalk art by Lila Roux for Not a Burger Stand in Beautiful Downtown Burbank, California.

Even more here.

by Skip Dolphin Hursh via Madame Scherzo.

Kristin Bell (admittedy amusingly) propagandizes for raising the minimum wage as Mary Poppins.

Hat tip to Karen L. Myers.

The poor black bear has his head stuck in a milk can, but fortunately for him along comes a logger who is extremely deft with a loader.

Jordan Ellenberg, in the Wall Street Journal, devises a methodology for calculating which of the summer’s best-selling titles will prove the least frequently finished. And the French commie envy-merchant wins.

It’s beach time, and you’ve probably already scanned a hundred lists of summer reads. Sadly overlooked is that other crucial literary category: the summer non-read, the book that you pick up, all full of ambition, at the beginning of June and put away, the bookmark now and forever halfway through chapter 1, on Labor Day. The classic of this genre is Stephen Hawking’s “A Brief History of Time,” widely called “the most unread book of all time.”

How can we find today’s greatest non-reads? Amazon’s “Popular Highlights” feature provides one quick and dirty measure. Every book’s Kindle page lists the five passages most highlighted by readers. If every reader is getting to the end, those highlights could be scattered throughout the length of the book. If nobody has made it past the introduction, the popular highlights will be clustered at the beginning.

Thus, the Hawking Index (HI): Take the page numbers of a book’s five top highlights, average them, and divide by the number of pages in the whole book. The higher the number, the more of the book we’re guessing most people are likely to have read.

Via John Anderson.

Marlen Doll

Scallywagandvagabond.com:

It seems South Americans take their soccer very very seriously after all. Case in point, Chilean porn star, Marlen Doll who made good on her tweeter pledge of having sex if the Chilean team score at least three goals and win the match.

The text below promised that the Chilean porn star would have random sex for at least 8 hours from her twitter feed (since suspended).

Porque yo soy la cabala de Chile encomiendense a santa Marlen doll #laroja#Vamoschile por las 8 hr sexo!! pic.twitter.com/5941JxSc9V

— Marlen Doll (@marienchilena) June 13, 2014

According to TheEliteDaily, the translation of the above tweet goes something like this:

“I promise if Chile wins, I will have sex for eight hours with different men from twitter”

That tweet was noticed by several people following her on Twitter and was retweeted many times. Marlen went on to reiterate that she would stand by her promise, come what may.

Inquisitr tells not only did Chile triumph over Australia, they did it with a score of 3-1! The conditions laid out by Marlen Doll were met and people began asking if she had any plans to fulfill the promise she had made a few days ago. Being a woman of her word, Marlen Doll actually called in people to come in and “celebrate” Chile’s victory with her in a night-long party. Pictures of the party would go on to be posted on to Marlen’s Twitter account before the account interestingly became suspended.

—————————–

Apparently, Marlen not only fulfilled her 8 hours of sex promise, she went on celebrating for twelve hours.

And she promises that if Chile succeeds in defeating Spain, she is going to go for sixteen hours.

Mallory Ortberg imagines the result if Ayn Rand had written Alice in Wonderland.

If everybody minded their own business,” the Duchess said in a hoarse growl, “the world would go round a deal faster than it does.”

“Which would not be an advantage,” said Alice, who felt very glad to get an opportunity of showing off a little of her knowledge. “Just think of what work it would make with the day and night! You see the earth takes twenty-four hours to turn round on its axis–”

“Talking of axes,” said the Duchess, “chop off her head!”

“You have no right to do that,” Alice said calmly. “The removal of heads does not fall under the purview of government.”

The Duchess gasped.

“A society that robs an individual of her head,” Alice continued, “or in any way attempts to limit the freedom of her head, is not, strictly speaking, a society, but a mob held together by institutionalized gang rule. You cannot promote the aristocracy of non-value at the expense of individual liberty.”

The Duchess fell silent.

“I am going to build a railroad here,” Alice said. “There is nothing you can do to stop me.”

“By the way,” Alice said as she turned to leave, “The appropriate posture of a worthy woman to a worthy man is hero-worship, not in chopping off his head. She never loses the awareness of her own sexual identity and theirs. A properly feminine woman does not treat men as if she were their pal, sister, mother—or leader. There will never be a woman president.”

Read the whole thing.