Category Archive 'Humor'
30 Jan 2010

Unhappy Hipsters

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Lying on his back, watching the passing clouds, he worried over the Nathaniel Hawthorne lookalike’s role in this grim threesome. (Dwell magazine, November 2009)

The blog Unhappy Hipsters exists to mock the spare and alienated modern architectural and interior design aesthetic celebrated by très, très chic Dwell Magazine simply by captioning some of its photos of the sophisticated “at home in the modern world.”

My wife, who brought this one to my attention, is naturally sympathetic to Unhappy Hipsters’ jaundiced viewpoint on expensive moderne minimalism. Our preferred houses tend to be old, and thoroughly cluttered with books, weapons, natural history specimens, Orientalia, and sporting prints. A friend from Yale once described our native habitat as “decorated by Stalky & Co.” Our design aesthetic might be described as Addams Family Excess.

Where do those hipsters keep their books? one always wonders.

Hat tip to Karen L. Myers.

30 Jan 2010

Hitler Does Not Like the Ipad

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Bruno Ganz’s portrayal of everyone’s favorite demented dictator chewing the carpet in Oliver Hirschbiegal’s “Der Untergang” (2004) is becoming a reliable vehicle for parody subtitling.

This time Der Fuehrer is displeased with some of the limitations of the Ipad.

3:59 video

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Personally, I thought the recent version depicting news of Scott Brown defeating Martha Coakley reaching the bunker was a good deal funnier.

28 Jan 2010

Email Humor

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nullclick on photo for larger version

People in Schuylkill County (where I grew up) have a warped sense of humor. It must be something in the coal-infused water.

This is the pull off at SR 61 and Adamsdale Road. A deer was hit there. The couch was dumped there previously.

Day two: the deer was on the couch. Day three: the end table and lamp showed up. Day four: the TV and TV stand showed up.

The Trooper had to call PENN DOT because of all the people stopping to take pictures.

PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO THE SIGN.

The cardboard caption in front of the deer on the couch reads,

“Sorry Hunters.
Obama ruined healthcare.
We can’t afford to have injured hunters on our conscience,
so I’m staying home!
Sorry,
the Deer.”

No guarantees on the accuracy of the alleged photo location.

Hat tip to Henry Bernatonis.

20 Jan 2010

The Bad News from Mass Reaches the Bunker

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One of history’s leading enthusiasts for socialized healthcare receives the bad news about Scott Brown’s capture of Ted Kennedy’s Massachusetts Senate seat. Serious carpet-chewing ensues.

Personally, I thought the superimposed subtitles worked beautifully with hilarious results.

3:50 video

14 Dec 2009

A Cthulhu Xmas

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Tired of those lame renditions of sacharine holiday songs blaring over the loudspeakers in every supermarket and mall? Jess Ruffner-Booth (who blogs about her own sighthounds at DemonPuppy), served up three Cthulhu carols to put one in a completely different kind of holiday spirit.

DEATH TO THE WORLD 2:05 video

Death to the world!

Cthulhu reigns.

The Great Old Ones Destroy

With wrath and doom, so cruel and foul,

Replete with obscene joy.

He rules the Earth with dreadful might,

And through our ghastly dreams

His twisting turning tentacles

Elicit from us maddened screams.

Cthulhu’s time has come.

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IT’S THE MOST HORRIBLE TIME OF THE YEAR 1:20 video

With the nights getting longer,

The evil is stronger,

And there’s much to fear.

It’s the most horrible time of the year.

It’s the unhappiest season of all.

When your knuckles are whitening

From visions so frightening,

You must not recall:

It’s the unhappiest season of all.

Great Cthulhu is calling.

Insanity’s falling,

And cultists are roaming the land.

With darkness descending,

Our destiny’s bending

To forces we can’t understand.

It’s the most horrible time of the year.

There’ll be ritual killing

And omens fulfilling,

As Old Ones appear.

It’s the most horrible time of the year.

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IT’S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE FISHMEN 1:40 video

It’s beginning to look a lot like fishmen

Everywhere I go.

From the minute I got to town,

And started to look around,

I thought these ill-bred peoples’ gill-slits showed.

I’m beginning to hear a lot of fishmen

Right outside my door.

As I try to escape in fright

To the moonlit inns with night,

I can hear some more.

They speak with guttural croaks

And to hear them provokes

A profound desire to flee.

Their eyes never blink,

And quite frankly they stink

Like a carcass washed up from the sea.

I wish I’d paid attention

To that crazy drunken man.

He tried to warn me all about

Old Marsh’s deep born clan.

It’s beginning to look a lot like fishmen

Everywhere I go.

They can dynamite devil reef,

But that will bring no relief.

Yhanthlei is deeper than they know!

I’ll continue to see a lot of fishmen.

That I guarantee.

For the fishman I really fear,

Is the one who’s in the mirror,

And he looks like me.

He looks just like me!

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And, when I looked, I found lots more:

I SAW MOMMY KISSING YOG SOTHOTH 1:19 video

AWAY IN A MADHOUSE 1:14 video

AWAKE YE SCARY GREAT OLD ONES 1:28 video

CAROL OF THE OLD ONES 1:11 video

I’M DREAMING OF A DEAD CITY 3:24 video

O COME ALL YE OLD ONES 1:36 video

MI-GO WE HAVE HEARD ON HIGH 1:16 video

FREDDIE THE RED-BRAINED MI-GO 1:25 video

HAVE YOURSELF A SCARY LITTLE SOLSTICE 2:30 video

THE CULTIST SONG 2:44 video

O CTHULHU 3:22 video

SILENT NIGHT, BLASPHEMOUS NIGHT 2:11 video

Not Xmas, but still, we have to link a few good ones from A Shoggoth on the Roof:

IF I WERE A DEEP ONE 4:34 video

BYAKHEE BYAKHEE 3:47 video

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In case something slimier and more amorphous than Santa should come creeping down your chimney, you’ll want to be prepared with alternative-to-yourself refreshments.

BellyTimber offers a Cthulhu Xmas cookie recipe and templates(!).

Hat tip to Karen L. Myers.

03 Dec 2009

The Drug Obama

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Obama brand Ecstacy tabs

According to Wikipedia, descriptions of the effect of the illegal drug MDMA (3,4-Methylenedioxymethamphetamine) better known as Ecstasy include:

A general and subjective alteration in consciousness
A strong sense of inner peace and self-acceptance
Diminished aggression, hostility, and jealousy
Diminished fear, anxiety, and insecurity
Extreme mood lift with accompanying euphoria
Feelings of empathy, compassion, and forgiveness towards others
Feelings of intimacy and even love for others

Ecstacy has been referred to as the “Love Drug” and as the “Hug Drug.” People who do too much Ecstacy and become overly mellow are pejoratively known as “E-tards.”

It should be no surprise, then, that police in Palmview, Texas recently found Ecstacy being marketed under the Obama brand.

Channel10 (Tampa)

30 Nov 2009

Climategate Dialogue

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Jim Treacher constructs an imaginary dialogue with a Global Warming Evangelist.

18 Nov 2009

The President Greets a Visitor

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17 Nov 2009

Viral Email Humor of the Day

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THE ECONOMY IS SO BAD, that . . .

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.

I ordered a burger at McDonalds and the kid behind the counter asked, “Can you afford fries with that?”

If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .

Motel Six won’t leave the light on anymore.

The Mafia is laying off judges.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. (Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear.)

Hat tip to Bill Laffer.

17 Nov 2009

Stimulus Saves Thousands of Jobs in Non-Existent Places

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Rightwingliberal is extremely impressed with the success of the democrat’s stimulus package. The government’s own web-site (Recovery.gov) demonstrates that Washington has managed to figure out a way to spend money, and save jobs, in Congressional districts that don’t exist.

I really, really wanted to believe this was an Onion move; then I actually feared some clever lefty had laid a trap for over-eager center-right bloggers.

It is neither. The Stimulus tracking site really does tout – and proudly, money that goes to phantom Congressional Districts.

Bill McMorris (Watchdog.org) has the details on North Dakota.

On a whim, I took a look at Virginia.

Among other things . . .

Over $2.26 million was spent in the “12th Congressional District,” which only exists in the fevered recesses of Tom Davis’ ambition.

Another $2M- plus went to the “00 Congressional District” (creating or saving exactly 2.5 jobs in the process)

More than $2M went to such venerable Virginia Districts as the 36th and 26th (neither seen since the 19th Century), plus the 79th (which can only mean Obama has created a new and more perfect dimension to spend the money)

Hat tip to Adam Bitely.

29 Oct 2009

Exchange of Courtesies in California

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Capitol Weekly reports on an interesting recent political dialogue in California.

Assemblyman Tom Ammiano, D-San Francisco, famously told the governor to “kiss my gay ass” at a Democratic fundraiser last month. Two days later, the governor responded in the veto message of one of Ammiano’s bills.

Earlier in the month, the San Francisco Democrat was at a boisterous Democratic fund-raiser when Republican Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger stopped by to say hello. The governor, a guest of former Mayor Willie Brown, said a few words of greeting and extolled the virtues of bipartisanship. But Democrats, unhappy with the governor in their midst, booed loudly.

“Kiss my gay ass!” Ammiano shouted out.

Schwarzenegger smiled and left. But he was plotting his move.

On Oct. 11, the governor vetoed Ammiano’s AB 1176, with a seemingly innocuous and vague veto message.

Innocent enough. But when read on the governor’s Web site, the first letter of the last two paragraphs line up to spell out a clear, if crude message.

Schwarzenegger spokesman Aaron McLear said the hidden message was a “strange coincidence.”

“When you veto so many bills, something like this is bound to happen,” he said with a straight face.

21 Oct 2009

Pixar Parody

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That cute little Pixar lamp stomps the letter I in those opening credits, but you’ve never seen the full story.

1:32 video

Hat tip to Karen L. Myers.

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