A Cthulhu Xmas
Amusement, Christmas, Cookies, Cthuhu, Cthulhu, H.P. Lovecraft, Humor, Parodies, Parody, Traditions, Videos
Tired of those lame renditions of sacharine holiday songs blaring over the loudspeakers in every supermarket and mall? Jess Ruffner-Booth (who blogs about her own sighthounds at DemonPuppy), served up three Cthulhu carols to put one in a completely different kind of holiday spirit.
DEATH TO THE WORLD 2:05 video
Death to the world!
Cthulhu reigns.
The Great Old Ones Destroy
With wrath and doom, so cruel and foul,
Replete with obscene joy.
He rules the Earth with dreadful might,
And through our ghastly dreams
His twisting turning tentacles
Elicit from us maddened screams.
Cthulhu’s time has come.
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IT’S THE MOST HORRIBLE TIME OF THE YEAR 1:20 video
With the nights getting longer,
The evil is stronger,
And there’s much to fear.
It’s the most horrible time of the year.
It’s the unhappiest season of all.
When your knuckles are whitening
From visions so frightening,
You must not recall:
It’s the unhappiest season of all.
Great Cthulhu is calling.
Insanity’s falling,
And cultists are roaming the land.
With darkness descending,
Our destiny’s bending
To forces we can’t understand.
It’s the most horrible time of the year.
There’ll be ritual killing
And omens fulfilling,
As Old Ones appear.
It’s the most horrible time of the year.
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IT’S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE FISHMEN 1:40 video
It’s beginning to look a lot like fishmen
Everywhere I go.
From the minute I got to town,
And started to look around,
I thought these ill-bred peoples’ gill-slits showed.
I’m beginning to hear a lot of fishmen
Right outside my door.
As I try to escape in fright
To the moonlit inns with night,
I can hear some more.
They speak with guttural croaks
And to hear them provokes
A profound desire to flee.
Their eyes never blink,
And quite frankly they stink
Like a carcass washed up from the sea.
I wish I’d paid attention
To that crazy drunken man.
He tried to warn me all about
Old Marsh’s deep born clan.
It’s beginning to look a lot like fishmen
Everywhere I go.
They can dynamite devil reef,
But that will bring no relief.
Yhanthlei is deeper than they know!
I’ll continue to see a lot of fishmen.
That I guarantee.
For the fishman I really fear,
Is the one who’s in the mirror,
And he looks like me.
He looks just like me!
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And, when I looked, I found lots more:
I SAW MOMMY KISSING YOG SOTHOTH 1:19 video
AWAY IN A MADHOUSE 1:14 video
AWAKE YE SCARY GREAT OLD ONES 1:28 video
CAROL OF THE OLD ONES 1:11 video
I’M DREAMING OF A DEAD CITY 3:24 video
O COME ALL YE OLD ONES 1:36 video
MI-GO WE HAVE HEARD ON HIGH 1:16 video
FREDDIE THE RED-BRAINED MI-GO 1:25 video
HAVE YOURSELF A SCARY LITTLE SOLSTICE 2:30 video
THE CULTIST SONG 2:44 video
O CTHULHU 3:22 video
SILENT NIGHT, BLASPHEMOUS NIGHT 2:11 video
Not Xmas, but still, we have to link a few good ones from A Shoggoth on the Roof:
IF I WERE A DEEP ONE 4:34 video
BYAKHEE BYAKHEE 3:47 video
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In case something slimier and more amorphous than Santa should come creeping down your chimney, you’ll want to be prepared with alternative-to-yourself refreshments.
BellyTimber offers a Cthulhu Xmas cookie recipe and templates(!).
Hat tip to Karen L. Myers.
